Worry has been described as "interest paid on trouble before it comes due." One of America's worst enemies is worry. Worry is like a rocking chair; it requires a lot of energy, and it gets you nowhere. Leo Buscaglia said, "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."
Question: Are you a worrier? Americans take more pills to forget more worries about more things than ever before and more than people in any other nation in history. That's bad. According to Dr. Charles Mayo, "Worry affects the circulation and the whole nervous system. I've never known a man who died from overwork, but I've known many who have died from doubt." Doubt always creates worry, and in most cases, lack of information raises the doubt.
Life is much like Christmas. You're more apt to get what you expect than what you want.
Mathematically speaking, it really doesn't make sense to worry. Psychologists and other researchers tell us that roughly 40 percent of what we worry about will never happen and 30 percent has already happened. Additionally, 12 percent of our worries are over unfounded health concerns. Another 10 percent of our worries involve the daily miscellaneous fretting that accomplishes nothing. That leaves only 8 percent. Plainly speaking, Americans are worrying 92 percent of the time for no good reason, and if Dr. Mayo is right, it's killing us.
One solution that will reduce your worry is this: Don't worry about what you can't change. Example: For a number of years I've flown in excess of 200,000 miles a year. On occasion, flights are canceled or delayed. As I write this, I'm sitting on the runway waiting for my gate to clear. If I worry or get angry, nothing will change. If I take constructive action and finish this article, I'm ahead of the game. That's a positive way to use the energy that I would have wasted on anger, frustration, or worrying.
The message is clear: If you don't like your situation in life, don't fret or worry--do something about it. Worry less, and act more.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Easy Ways You Can Control Anger
According to health experts, anger is defined as "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage." Anger can be brought on by either external or internal factors. Anger can come about as the result of a fight, a traffic jam, a run in with the boss and even a past memory of a hurt suffered can cause anger. Recognizing when you are angry and finding ways to control the emotion are very important. Anger can be constructive to a point but can very easily lead to destructive behavior. Let's take a closer look at how to control anger.
Developing better problem solving skills is one way to control anger. Sometimes anger takes place in relation to circumstances that a person cannot control. When this happens, make a concise plan about how to deal with the problem and then pay attention to your progress in coping with the situation at hand. Do the best you can but do not beat yourself up if things do not go as planned. Just keep on trying your best.
Control anger by taking yourself out of the environment that is a breeding ground for more anger. Always take a breather from stressful times and schedule some down time or personal time for yourself every day, even if it is just an hour per day. Do something you enjoy or something that makes you happy, such as reading a book, watching a movie, taking a walk, relaxing in the bathtub, gardening, going window shopping, and so on. Learning to relax is an excellent way to diffuse a situation where anger is taking hold. Try some basic relaxation exercises such as using imagery or deep breathing to help you feel calmer and more centered. For example,learn to breathe from your diaphragm, as breathing from your chest as most people tend to do is not going to help relax your mind and body at all. Choose a word or a phrase and repeat it to yourself in your head whenever you are feeling angry. Suggestions are using the word "calm" or "relaxed,” “take a breath," "calm down,” or “take it easy.” Imagery goes a long way in making relaxation a reality. Visualize a scene or a memory that helps to calm you and brings you joy.
Yoga is another way to relax yourself from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. There are many different forms of yoga. So, make sure you choose the one that is slow and non-strenuous to the body. Yoga helps to relax the muscles as well as calm the mind. Other ways to relax in order to control anger include getting a massage or taking the time to learn to meditate.
Cognitive restructuring is another method of controlling anger. Put more simply, this means altering the way you think about events, people and the like. Angry people often exaggerate, blow situations out of proportion and leave all forms of logic behind. Always remind yourself that in the end anger solves nothing; instead, it complicates situations even more. An attitude adjustment is often an effective means of controlling anger.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
Developing better problem solving skills is one way to control anger. Sometimes anger takes place in relation to circumstances that a person cannot control. When this happens, make a concise plan about how to deal with the problem and then pay attention to your progress in coping with the situation at hand. Do the best you can but do not beat yourself up if things do not go as planned. Just keep on trying your best.
Control anger by taking yourself out of the environment that is a breeding ground for more anger. Always take a breather from stressful times and schedule some down time or personal time for yourself every day, even if it is just an hour per day. Do something you enjoy or something that makes you happy, such as reading a book, watching a movie, taking a walk, relaxing in the bathtub, gardening, going window shopping, and so on. Learning to relax is an excellent way to diffuse a situation where anger is taking hold. Try some basic relaxation exercises such as using imagery or deep breathing to help you feel calmer and more centered. For example,learn to breathe from your diaphragm, as breathing from your chest as most people tend to do is not going to help relax your mind and body at all. Choose a word or a phrase and repeat it to yourself in your head whenever you are feeling angry. Suggestions are using the word "calm" or "relaxed,” “take a breath," "calm down,” or “take it easy.” Imagery goes a long way in making relaxation a reality. Visualize a scene or a memory that helps to calm you and brings you joy.
Yoga is another way to relax yourself from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. There are many different forms of yoga. So, make sure you choose the one that is slow and non-strenuous to the body. Yoga helps to relax the muscles as well as calm the mind. Other ways to relax in order to control anger include getting a massage or taking the time to learn to meditate.
Cognitive restructuring is another method of controlling anger. Put more simply, this means altering the way you think about events, people and the like. Angry people often exaggerate, blow situations out of proportion and leave all forms of logic behind. Always remind yourself that in the end anger solves nothing; instead, it complicates situations even more. An attitude adjustment is often an effective means of controlling anger.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
Thursday, April 19, 2007
How to Use the Law of Attraction - 4 Secret Keys - By Michael Lee
The law of attraction has become one of the most popular topics today in the world of personal development. Many people have experienced massive changes in their life since they have watched the life-changing movie entitled "The Secret". This movie focused on what is believed to be the most powerful law in the universe - the law of attraction.
People everywhere are interested to know how to use the power of this universal law to attract their desires and achieve their ambitions in life.
For those who are not familiar, you might be asking, "What is the law of attraction?"
It is a universal entity that attracts to you whatever you focus your attention on majority of the time. This magnetic power allows you to manifest your thoughts and emotions into reality.
You may have not been aware, but it has been existent since the beginning of creation. The greatest people who have ever lived practiced the law of attraction. The most successful people in the world today are practicing it, including Oprah Winfrey.
It is vital for anyone who is applying this universal law to know how to use it to its full advantage. The law of attraction does not merely rely on the "ask, believe, and receive" formula. Nope, sorry to say but it's not that simple. To unleash its full magnetic power, you have to observe the following:
1. Visualize in your mind the very thing you desire to be, do, or have. Believe without a doubt that it is already happening in your life. Feel the happiness or satisfaction of having achieved your dream in your whole body, mind, heart, and soul. It is highly recommended that you create a vision board (a cardboard will do, with pictures of things that delight your heart). This will greatly boost your visual faculty.
2. Declare your intentions, believe that you are already receiving what you are asking for, and state your affirmations whenever you can. If you want to be a best-selling author, say, "I am a best-selling author!" many times throughout the day with belief, conviction, and emotion. It is highly recommended to go to a room alone to focus on your self-talk.
At any time of the day when you are about to say something negative like "I can never do this!" or "I'm so dumb!" hold your tongue and say "Cancel! Cancel!" or "Delete! Delete!" It is vital to keep your inner dialogue purely positive and free from pessimistic toxins.
3. Take inspired action! The universe helps those who help themselves. If you've been watching "My Name is Earl," you'll probably be familiar with karma. It states that if you do something good, an equally good thing will come back to you. And if you do something bad, an equally bad thing will come back to you. You reap what you sow. Therefore, if you just keep daydreaming and don't do anything, the universe won't do anything to help you either.
4. Receive openly. The law of attraction is more powerful if you open up and allow yourself to receive the abundance that the universe supplies to you. If you reject your blessings, you are stopping the flow of prosperity and decreasing your attracting force. Acknowledge even the smallest things in life. Remember to always say "Thank you." Let the universe know how much you appreciate all the abundant gifts you are receiving. Show sincere gratitude, and the universe will respond appropriately by giving you more.
The law of attraction is so precise; it never fails. Understand it, know exactly how to unleash its full potential, and start applying its principles to manifest everything you've always dreamed of. You can do it! May the attraction power be with you.
People everywhere are interested to know how to use the power of this universal law to attract their desires and achieve their ambitions in life.
For those who are not familiar, you might be asking, "What is the law of attraction?"
It is a universal entity that attracts to you whatever you focus your attention on majority of the time. This magnetic power allows you to manifest your thoughts and emotions into reality.
You may have not been aware, but it has been existent since the beginning of creation. The greatest people who have ever lived practiced the law of attraction. The most successful people in the world today are practicing it, including Oprah Winfrey.
It is vital for anyone who is applying this universal law to know how to use it to its full advantage. The law of attraction does not merely rely on the "ask, believe, and receive" formula. Nope, sorry to say but it's not that simple. To unleash its full magnetic power, you have to observe the following:
1. Visualize in your mind the very thing you desire to be, do, or have. Believe without a doubt that it is already happening in your life. Feel the happiness or satisfaction of having achieved your dream in your whole body, mind, heart, and soul. It is highly recommended that you create a vision board (a cardboard will do, with pictures of things that delight your heart). This will greatly boost your visual faculty.
2. Declare your intentions, believe that you are already receiving what you are asking for, and state your affirmations whenever you can. If you want to be a best-selling author, say, "I am a best-selling author!" many times throughout the day with belief, conviction, and emotion. It is highly recommended to go to a room alone to focus on your self-talk.
At any time of the day when you are about to say something negative like "I can never do this!" or "I'm so dumb!" hold your tongue and say "Cancel! Cancel!" or "Delete! Delete!" It is vital to keep your inner dialogue purely positive and free from pessimistic toxins.
3. Take inspired action! The universe helps those who help themselves. If you've been watching "My Name is Earl," you'll probably be familiar with karma. It states that if you do something good, an equally good thing will come back to you. And if you do something bad, an equally bad thing will come back to you. You reap what you sow. Therefore, if you just keep daydreaming and don't do anything, the universe won't do anything to help you either.
4. Receive openly. The law of attraction is more powerful if you open up and allow yourself to receive the abundance that the universe supplies to you. If you reject your blessings, you are stopping the flow of prosperity and decreasing your attracting force. Acknowledge even the smallest things in life. Remember to always say "Thank you." Let the universe know how much you appreciate all the abundant gifts you are receiving. Show sincere gratitude, and the universe will respond appropriately by giving you more.
The law of attraction is so precise; it never fails. Understand it, know exactly how to unleash its full potential, and start applying its principles to manifest everything you've always dreamed of. You can do it! May the attraction power be with you.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Keep Word commands handy with Office 2007's Quick Access Toolbar by Mary Ann Richardson
With Word 2007, there's no reason to click the mouse more than once to execute a command. If you find yourself frequently clicking around the ribbon to get to the same handful of commands, just add them to Word's Quick Access Toolbar, and you will not have to hunt for it again.
For example, if your job often entails reviewing document comments, follow these steps to add the most frequently used reviewing tools to the top of the screen.
1. In the Quick Access toolbar to the right of the Office button, click
the Customer Quick Access list arrow.
2. Click More Commands.
3. Select Choose Commands from the drop-down list.
4. Click All Commands.
5. In the left column, click and then click the Add button.
6. Scroll to and click Accept And Move To Next, then click the Add button.
7. Click and then click the Add button.
8. Scroll to and click Reject and Move to Next, then click the Add button.
9. Click OK.
Once you add a tool, you can remove it from the toolbar by right-clicking the tool and selecting Remove From Quick Access Toolbar.
For example, if your job often entails reviewing document comments, follow these steps to add the most frequently used reviewing tools to the top of the screen.
1. In the Quick Access toolbar to the right of the Office button, click
the Customer Quick Access list arrow.
2. Click More Commands.
3. Select Choose Commands from the drop-down list.
4. Click All Commands.
5. In the left column, click
6. Scroll to and click Accept And Move To Next, then click the Add button.
7. Click
8. Scroll to and click Reject and Move to Next, then click the Add button.
9. Click OK.
Once you add a tool, you can remove it from the toolbar by right-clicking the tool and selecting Remove From Quick Access Toolbar.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Saying No Gracefully to Customers and Colleagues - By Terri Zwierzynski
Envision the scenario: You've just been asked at the last minute by Chris, the organizer of your local networking group, to replace the scheduled speaker at next month's meeting. You already have too many commitments on your plate. Imagine your response:
You: "Well, I don't think I'd have enough time to prepare. I'm awfully sorry-I wish I could help you!"
Chris: "Your last speech was super-maybe you could just talk some more about that topic? I'd really appreciate it!"
You: "I'm glad you liked it--maybe I could do it.<
Chris: "Oh that would be great! Just let me know the title."
How might you feel about doing this speech? You might feel stressed or resentful. You might not be at your best when you do the speech. Other work that you'd really like to be doing might suffer.
Now imagine a different response:
You: "No, I can't be prepared on such short notice. I know how hard it is to find someone-Alex speaks on a variety of topics and I think she could fill in for you. I'll give you her number."
Chris: "Thanks! That will really help."
This is a win-win-win: Alex gets an opportunity to speak (her specialty), Chris gets a speaker, and you aren't saddled with a commitment you don't want--plus, you've probably earned some good will from both Alex and Chris. What a difference!
Whether you are saying no to a collaborator asking you to do something, or saying no to a potential client that you really don't want to have, the ability to say no gracefully is a key skill when you are in business as a solo entrepreneur. Here are four quick steps to learning this skill:
1.Understand the reasons you say "yes", even when you don't really want to. Here are some common reasons; which ones apply to you?
* You want to please people; you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
* The customer is always right, you can't say no to the customer!
* It's not polite to say no; if you say no you feel you are being self-centered.
* You are flattered by the request.
* You feel like you need the business!
* You can't think of a nice way to say no fast enough.
* You think there might be other unforeseen negative consequences if you say no.
2. Recognize the good things that can come out of saying "no":
* You have more opportunities to say "yes" to the right customer.
* You have more time to do the things you *want* to do.
* Saying no expresses how you *really* feel. You are taking responsibility for your own feelings and letting others take responsibility for theirs.
* Someone else who really wants this customer's business, has a chance to get it
3. Learn how to say "no" gracefully:
* "No, I can't do that." Don't beat around the bush-put "no" right upfront.
* Use non-verbal cues to underscore the "no"-shake your head; use a firm and direct voice, use eye-contact.
* Add an explanation if you want, but don't apologize: "I have another commitment." - even if that commitment is to yourself!
* Be empathetic if the situation calls for it: "I know how hard it is to find a tax-preparer at this time of year."
* Recommend an alternative if one is available: "Let me refer you to..."
* If you're not sure, it's always OK to ask for more time to think it over!
4. Practice your new skill:
* Rehearse ahead of time if you think it will help. Role play with your business coach or a friend or colleague.
* Choose a low-risk situation first. Practice on your significant other, family, friends. Or practice on strangers, if that's easier for you: the salesclerk who wants to sell you one more thing, the telemarketer calling at dinner.
* Work your way up to friendly clients. They are likely to appreciate the boundaries you are setting!
* When you have the courage to fire that client who hasn't paid and makes unreasonable demands-you'll know you've mastered saying "NO!" (Hint: refer them to someone else that is a better fit and help manage the transition!)
Saying "no" gives you freedom. It is a way of honoring both yourself and the person you are saying "no" to. Learn to do it well, and you will earn the respect of others--and yourself!
About the Author:
Terri Zwierzynski is a coach to small business owners and Solo Entrepreneurs. She is also the CEI (Conductor of Extraordinary Ideas) at Solo-E.com. Terri is an MBA honors graduate from UNC-Chapel Hill. Terri has been coaching for over 10 years in a variety of settings, including 6 years as a senior-level coach and consultant for a Fortune 500 company. She opened her private coaching practice in 2001. Contact her at: http://www.Solo-E.com.
You: "Well, I don't think I'd have enough time to prepare. I'm awfully sorry-I wish I could help you!"
Chris: "Your last speech was super-maybe you could just talk some more about that topic? I'd really appreciate it!"
You: "I'm glad you liked it--maybe I could do it.<
Chris: "Oh that would be great! Just let me know the title."
How might you feel about doing this speech? You might feel stressed or resentful. You might not be at your best when you do the speech. Other work that you'd really like to be doing might suffer.
Now imagine a different response:
You: "No, I can't be prepared on such short notice. I know how hard it is to find someone-Alex speaks on a variety of topics and I think she could fill in for you. I'll give you her number."
Chris: "Thanks! That will really help."
This is a win-win-win: Alex gets an opportunity to speak (her specialty), Chris gets a speaker, and you aren't saddled with a commitment you don't want--plus, you've probably earned some good will from both Alex and Chris. What a difference!
Whether you are saying no to a collaborator asking you to do something, or saying no to a potential client that you really don't want to have, the ability to say no gracefully is a key skill when you are in business as a solo entrepreneur. Here are four quick steps to learning this skill:
1.Understand the reasons you say "yes", even when you don't really want to. Here are some common reasons; which ones apply to you?
* You want to please people; you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
* The customer is always right, you can't say no to the customer!
* It's not polite to say no; if you say no you feel you are being self-centered.
* You are flattered by the request.
* You feel like you need the business!
* You can't think of a nice way to say no fast enough.
* You think there might be other unforeseen negative consequences if you say no.
2. Recognize the good things that can come out of saying "no":
* You have more opportunities to say "yes" to the right customer.
* You have more time to do the things you *want* to do.
* Saying no expresses how you *really* feel. You are taking responsibility for your own feelings and letting others take responsibility for theirs.
* Someone else who really wants this customer's business, has a chance to get it
3. Learn how to say "no" gracefully:
* "No, I can't do that." Don't beat around the bush-put "no" right upfront.
* Use non-verbal cues to underscore the "no"-shake your head; use a firm and direct voice, use eye-contact.
* Add an explanation if you want, but don't apologize: "I have another commitment." - even if that commitment is to yourself!
* Be empathetic if the situation calls for it: "I know how hard it is to find a tax-preparer at this time of year."
* Recommend an alternative if one is available: "Let me refer you to..."
* If you're not sure, it's always OK to ask for more time to think it over!
4. Practice your new skill:
* Rehearse ahead of time if you think it will help. Role play with your business coach or a friend or colleague.
* Choose a low-risk situation first. Practice on your significant other, family, friends. Or practice on strangers, if that's easier for you: the salesclerk who wants to sell you one more thing, the telemarketer calling at dinner.
* Work your way up to friendly clients. They are likely to appreciate the boundaries you are setting!
* When you have the courage to fire that client who hasn't paid and makes unreasonable demands-you'll know you've mastered saying "NO!" (Hint: refer them to someone else that is a better fit and help manage the transition!)
Saying "no" gives you freedom. It is a way of honoring both yourself and the person you are saying "no" to. Learn to do it well, and you will earn the respect of others--and yourself!
About the Author:
Terri Zwierzynski is a coach to small business owners and Solo Entrepreneurs. She is also the CEI (Conductor of Extraordinary Ideas) at Solo-E.com. Terri is an MBA honors graduate from UNC-Chapel Hill. Terri has been coaching for over 10 years in a variety of settings, including 6 years as a senior-level coach and consultant for a Fortune 500 company. She opened her private coaching practice in 2001. Contact her at: http://www.Solo-E.com.
Hitting the Bull's Eye
Somebody once said the difference between a big shot and little shot is that the big shot was the little shot who kept on shooting. There's much truth in that witticism. The reality is, no matter what our target might be, we seldom hit it on the first try unless the target is low, which means the accomplishment--and the rewards--will be insignificant.
In bow shooting, experienced archers test the wind by using the first shot to judge its strength and direction, enabling them to zero in on the target with their following shots. In short, archers learn from their mistakes. That's good advice for all of us. Success in business, athletics, science, politics, etc., seldom comes on the first effort. Walt Disney went bankrupt a number of times and had at least one nervous breakdown before he made it big. Athletic skills are acquired over a long period of time and after countless hours of practice. Authors by the hundreds can tell you stories by the thousands of those rejection slips before they found a publisher who was willing to "gamble" on an unknown.
It's more than just a cliché that persistent, enthusiastic effort produces powerful, positive results, that failure is an event--not a person--and that the only time you must not fail is the last time you try. Whatever your target might be, chances are good that you're not going to hit the bull's eye on the first effort you make at being "successful." The key is persistence and the willingness to try again in the face of those early misses.
You can learn from those early mistakes and if you do keep on shooting, it's just a question of time before you, too, are hitting the bull's eye.
This article was adapted from Zig's book, Something Else to Smile About.
In bow shooting, experienced archers test the wind by using the first shot to judge its strength and direction, enabling them to zero in on the target with their following shots. In short, archers learn from their mistakes. That's good advice for all of us. Success in business, athletics, science, politics, etc., seldom comes on the first effort. Walt Disney went bankrupt a number of times and had at least one nervous breakdown before he made it big. Athletic skills are acquired over a long period of time and after countless hours of practice. Authors by the hundreds can tell you stories by the thousands of those rejection slips before they found a publisher who was willing to "gamble" on an unknown.
It's more than just a cliché that persistent, enthusiastic effort produces powerful, positive results, that failure is an event--not a person--and that the only time you must not fail is the last time you try. Whatever your target might be, chances are good that you're not going to hit the bull's eye on the first effort you make at being "successful." The key is persistence and the willingness to try again in the face of those early misses.
You can learn from those early mistakes and if you do keep on shooting, it's just a question of time before you, too, are hitting the bull's eye.
This article was adapted from Zig's book, Something Else to Smile About.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Eight Success Lessons from My Mom - By Michael G. Rayel
As my mom receives treatment for a lingering illness, I can't help but think about what she has done for me and our family. As a young boy, my father used to remind me that without Mom, our family would have crumbled. "In every good family, there's always a good mother behind it," he emphasized.I can't forget those words coming from my dad, but my young brain couldn't fully appreciate it at that time. While I was growing up, Mom never talked about any success principle. However, through her attitude and actions over the years, I have realized that Mom is indeed the strength and foundation of the family. In fact, she has instilled in me life lessons important to success.
* Be Enthusiastic. My mom has always been enthusiastic. She was enthusiastic as a teacher, as a businesswoman, and as a mother. You could feel her presence because her positive attitude was infectious. Her smile, speech, and gestures showed a woman full of confidence in doing her tasks.A relative once commented that my mom was "a woman in a hurry" and "always busy." And yet you could always find a smile on her face, even during stressful times. She would tackle her task with ease and gladness. It was her positive attitude and enthusiasm that helped her develop long-term friendships and business relationships all through the years.
* Pursue Your Priorities. When she got married, she committed to raise her family the best way she could. Mom was always there for us, always willing to provide her precious time. We prayed, went to church, and had fun together as a family. Moreover, she gave us the necessary tools to do well in school. Many times, she had to swallow her pride just to borrow or rent Boy Scout uniforms or formal attire so we could participate in school programs. Early on, she made us aware of her mission. Her priority was to provide each of us with a college education regardless of her financial circumstances. She considered education as the only way to prepare us for the future.When the family business was thriving, she used the additional income to buy properties as investments. Her intention was to save for her children's future needs. So when I was in medical school and money was tight, she never hesitated to sell them just so I could pay my tuition fees and other school expenses.
* Develop a Strong Focus. My mom worked hard. She used to wake up early (around 5:00 a.m.), despite going to bed late (around 1:00 or 2:00 a.m.), to prepare the store for the day. Aside from her day job as a teacher, she was a full-time businesswoman in the evenings. She took care of her small restaurant and barbershop after work. During the day she would bring products to sell in a school store. I saw her rush to school, not just with a lesson plan but also with products in tow. On weekends she spent her free time with the customers and buying supplies, such as flour, bread, and meat, in nearby cities. Through hard work and focus Mom and Dad expanded their farm and grew their small business.
* Establish Your Integrity. My mom's coworkers and friends have always talked about Mom's integrity. Her words were consistently followed by appropriate actions. In short, her words were her actions, and vice versa. No wonder she gained the trust of her friends, relatives, and customers. Even lenders trusted her with their money. Each time she needed money, lenders would not hesitate to give her what she needed. Because of her integrity, some friends and relatives had asked her to borrow funds for them from "difficult" lenders or to serve as a guarantor. She had helped many families through these unselfish actions.
* Believe in Your Abilities. Mom has always made us believe that we're capable of achieving our goals. I was only 10 years old when she would announce to everyone how "intelligent" my siblings and I were. To prove her point, she would even ask me or my older siblings for suggestions about family or personal matters. My mom has always been proud of us. She values us. She focuses on our strengths and appreciates our efforts. She frequently reminds us that we each have a bright future. Because of her praise and positive expectations, we have confidence and strong belief in ourselves.
* Practice Self-Reflection. As a teenager, I was rebellious. I used to share with her my unconventional ideas about morality, religion, and politics. Instead of making comments, she would listen intently and made sure she understood me. Even during those times when I made mistakes, she never argued nor gave advice. Her infrequent and minimal comments would instead focus on the fact that I was "smart enough" to know what was good and appropriate. But I realized later that her "quiet" response was more powerful than any argument or advice in the world. Her unexpected response allowed me to analyze and criticize my own thoughts and behavior during my quiet moments. Likewise, it allowed me to learn from my mistakes through self-reflection.
* Be Generous. All her life, my mom has always been generous. She gives even if she has little. I remember as a young boy when she had to borrow money so she could give to a relative or a close friend who required urgent assistance. In addition, she sent some of our poor relatives' kids to school. She liked to help because she experienced the harsh reality of poverty when she was young. Her intention was to help stop the cycle of lack in those families through education.Moreover, she never hesitated to help a friend or a relative in need of basic necessities such as food and clothing. Her mindset was to serve others even if it meant sacrificing her own comfortable existence. It was, however, this profound sensitivity that endeared her to the hearts of others.
* Have Faith. Like any woman who has had to deal with an unfaithful husband, she suffered from sleepless nights and emotional pain. When my dad eventually left her for a younger woman, her only refuge was prayer. I saw her endure from that ordeal. She wept. She lost weight and had some restless nights. And yet, through constant prayer, she maintained her equanimity and survived the worst storm in her life.Her faith was tested yet again when my grandmother was suffering from the complications of dementia. For at least 10 years she was the only caregiver who was in my grandma's presence to meet her needs 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Through her unceasing faith, she faced the challenges of caregiving and provided for her mother's care without complaint. Now that she faces another adversity--her own serious medical illness--she will remain strong as she has always been. For sure, her character and her faith will once again shine. Life has handed Mom its wonders and hardships, its opportunities and challenges, and its surprises and disappointments. No doubt, she has embraced them all with acceptance and firm resolve. My mom, who rarely gave direct advice, has proven that role modeling is crucial in teaching young minds the life lessons of success.
About the Author:This article was written by Michael Rayel, M.D., contributing author to "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Dr. Rayel, CEO of Oikos Global--the maker of emotional intelligence games and educational products--has helped others learn emotional intelligence through his award-winning invention, the Oikos Game Series. For details, visit http://www.oikosglobal.com and http://www.oikosinsights.com
* Be Enthusiastic. My mom has always been enthusiastic. She was enthusiastic as a teacher, as a businesswoman, and as a mother. You could feel her presence because her positive attitude was infectious. Her smile, speech, and gestures showed a woman full of confidence in doing her tasks.A relative once commented that my mom was "a woman in a hurry" and "always busy." And yet you could always find a smile on her face, even during stressful times. She would tackle her task with ease and gladness. It was her positive attitude and enthusiasm that helped her develop long-term friendships and business relationships all through the years.
* Pursue Your Priorities. When she got married, she committed to raise her family the best way she could. Mom was always there for us, always willing to provide her precious time. We prayed, went to church, and had fun together as a family. Moreover, she gave us the necessary tools to do well in school. Many times, she had to swallow her pride just to borrow or rent Boy Scout uniforms or formal attire so we could participate in school programs. Early on, she made us aware of her mission. Her priority was to provide each of us with a college education regardless of her financial circumstances. She considered education as the only way to prepare us for the future.When the family business was thriving, she used the additional income to buy properties as investments. Her intention was to save for her children's future needs. So when I was in medical school and money was tight, she never hesitated to sell them just so I could pay my tuition fees and other school expenses.
* Develop a Strong Focus. My mom worked hard. She used to wake up early (around 5:00 a.m.), despite going to bed late (around 1:00 or 2:00 a.m.), to prepare the store for the day. Aside from her day job as a teacher, she was a full-time businesswoman in the evenings. She took care of her small restaurant and barbershop after work. During the day she would bring products to sell in a school store. I saw her rush to school, not just with a lesson plan but also with products in tow. On weekends she spent her free time with the customers and buying supplies, such as flour, bread, and meat, in nearby cities. Through hard work and focus Mom and Dad expanded their farm and grew their small business.
* Establish Your Integrity. My mom's coworkers and friends have always talked about Mom's integrity. Her words were consistently followed by appropriate actions. In short, her words were her actions, and vice versa. No wonder she gained the trust of her friends, relatives, and customers. Even lenders trusted her with their money. Each time she needed money, lenders would not hesitate to give her what she needed. Because of her integrity, some friends and relatives had asked her to borrow funds for them from "difficult" lenders or to serve as a guarantor. She had helped many families through these unselfish actions.
* Believe in Your Abilities. Mom has always made us believe that we're capable of achieving our goals. I was only 10 years old when she would announce to everyone how "intelligent" my siblings and I were. To prove her point, she would even ask me or my older siblings for suggestions about family or personal matters. My mom has always been proud of us. She values us. She focuses on our strengths and appreciates our efforts. She frequently reminds us that we each have a bright future. Because of her praise and positive expectations, we have confidence and strong belief in ourselves.
* Practice Self-Reflection. As a teenager, I was rebellious. I used to share with her my unconventional ideas about morality, religion, and politics. Instead of making comments, she would listen intently and made sure she understood me. Even during those times when I made mistakes, she never argued nor gave advice. Her infrequent and minimal comments would instead focus on the fact that I was "smart enough" to know what was good and appropriate. But I realized later that her "quiet" response was more powerful than any argument or advice in the world. Her unexpected response allowed me to analyze and criticize my own thoughts and behavior during my quiet moments. Likewise, it allowed me to learn from my mistakes through self-reflection.
* Be Generous. All her life, my mom has always been generous. She gives even if she has little. I remember as a young boy when she had to borrow money so she could give to a relative or a close friend who required urgent assistance. In addition, she sent some of our poor relatives' kids to school. She liked to help because she experienced the harsh reality of poverty when she was young. Her intention was to help stop the cycle of lack in those families through education.Moreover, she never hesitated to help a friend or a relative in need of basic necessities such as food and clothing. Her mindset was to serve others even if it meant sacrificing her own comfortable existence. It was, however, this profound sensitivity that endeared her to the hearts of others.
* Have Faith. Like any woman who has had to deal with an unfaithful husband, she suffered from sleepless nights and emotional pain. When my dad eventually left her for a younger woman, her only refuge was prayer. I saw her endure from that ordeal. She wept. She lost weight and had some restless nights. And yet, through constant prayer, she maintained her equanimity and survived the worst storm in her life.Her faith was tested yet again when my grandmother was suffering from the complications of dementia. For at least 10 years she was the only caregiver who was in my grandma's presence to meet her needs 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Through her unceasing faith, she faced the challenges of caregiving and provided for her mother's care without complaint. Now that she faces another adversity--her own serious medical illness--she will remain strong as she has always been. For sure, her character and her faith will once again shine. Life has handed Mom its wonders and hardships, its opportunities and challenges, and its surprises and disappointments. No doubt, she has embraced them all with acceptance and firm resolve. My mom, who rarely gave direct advice, has proven that role modeling is crucial in teaching young minds the life lessons of success.
About the Author:This article was written by Michael Rayel, M.D., contributing author to "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Dr. Rayel, CEO of Oikos Global--the maker of emotional intelligence games and educational products--has helped others learn emotional intelligence through his award-winning invention, the Oikos Game Series. For details, visit http://www.oikosglobal.com and http://www.oikosinsights.com
Friday, April 6, 2007
Growing Your Business One Customer at a Time - By Liz Tahir
The "people" aspect of business is really what it is all about. Rule #1: Think of customers as individuals. Once we think that way, we realize our business is our customer, not our product or services. Putting all the focus on the merchandise in our store, or the services our corporation offers, leaves out the most important component: each individual customer.Keeping those individual customers in mind, here are some easy, down-home steps-to-remember when you want to keep 'em coming back!1. Remember there is no way that the quality of customer service can exceed the quality of the people who provide it. Think you can get by paying the lowest wage, giving the fewest of benefits, doing the least training for your employees? It will show. Companies don't help customers..people do.2. Realize that your people will treat your customer the way they are treated. Employees take their cue from management. Do you greet your employees enthusiastically each day; are you polite in your dealings with them; do you try to accommodate their requests; do you listen to them when they speak? Consistent rude service is a reflection not as much on the employee as on management.3. Do you know who your customers are? If a regular customer came in to your facility, would you recognize them? Could you call them by name? All of us like to feel important; calling someone by name is a simple way to do it and lets them know you value them as customers. Recently I signed on with a new fitness center. I had been a member of another one for the past ten years, renewing my membership every 6 months when the notice arrived. I had been thinking about changing, joining the one nearer my home and with more state-of-the-art equipment. So when the renewal notice came, I didn't renew. That was 8 months ago. Was I contacted by the fitness center and asked why I did not renew? Did anyone telephone me to find out why an established customer was no longer a member or to tell me they missed me? No and No. My guess is they don't even know they lost a long-time customer, and apparently wouldn't care.4. Do your customers know who you are? If they see you, would they recognize you? Could they call you by name? A visible management is an asset. At the Piccadilly Cafeteria chain, the pictures of the manager and the assistant manager are posted on a wall at the food selection line and it is a policy that the manager's office is placed only a few feet from the cashier's stand at the end of that line, in full view of the customers, and with the door kept open. The manager is easily accessible and there is no doubt about "who's in charge here". You have only to beckon to get a manager at your table to talk with you.5. Go the extra mile. Include a thank-you note in a customer's package; send a birthday card; clip the article when you see their name or photo in print; write a congratulatory note when they get a promotion. There are all sorts of ways for you to keep in touch with your customers and bring them closer to you.6. Are your customers greeted when they walk in the door or at least within 30-40 seconds upon entering? Is it possible they could come in, look around, and go out without ever having their presence acknowledged? It is ironic it took a discount merchant known for price, not service, to teach the retail world the importance of greeting customers at the door. Could it be that's because Sam Walton knew this simple but important gesture is a matter of respect, of saying "we appreciate your coming in," having nothing to do with the price of merchandise?7. Give customers the benefit of the doubt. Proving to him why he's wrong and you're right isn't worth losing a customer over. You will never win an argument with a customer, and you should never, ever put a customer in that position.8. If a customer makes a request for something special, do everything you can to say Yes. The fact that a customer cared enough to ask is all you need to know in trying to accommodate her. It may be an exception from your policy, but (if it isn't illegal) try to do it. Remember you are just making one exception for one customer, not making new policy. Mr. Marshall Field was right-on in his famous statement: "Give the lady what she wants."9. Are your associates properly trained in how to handle a customer complaint or an irate person? Give them guidelines for what to say and do in every conceivable case. People on the frontline of a situation play the most critical role in your customer's experience. Make sure they know what to do and say to make that customer's experience a positive, pleasant one.10. Want to know what your customers think of your company? Ask them! Compose a "How're We Doing?" card and leave it at the exit or register stand, or include it in their next statement. Keep it short and simple. Ask things like: what it is they like; what they don't like; what they would change; what you could do better; about their latest experience there, etc. To ensure the customer sends it in: have it pre-stamped. And if the customer has given their name and address, be sure to acknowledge receipt of the card.Remember that the big money isn't as much in winning customers as in keeping customers. Each individual customer's perception of your company will determine how well you do this.About the Author:Liz Tahir is an international marketing consultant, speaker, and seminar leader, whose mission is to help companies be more effective and profitable. Based in New Orleans, LA, USA, she can be contacted at (504)-569-1670; liz@liztahir.com; http://www.liztahir.com.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Don't Take Your Inner Brat to Work! - By Pauline Wallin
Is your inner brat taking over your job? Everyone has an inner brat. It's the part of us that's still a two-year-old. It lives on in the dark recesses of our minds, no matter how much we've accomplished.The inner brat gets furious at the slightest inconvenience. It feels entitled to get what it wants, when it wants, and it complains when things don't go its way. Your inner brat not only makes you miserable; it makes work unpleasant for everyone else."Hmm," you might be saying to yourself right now. "That describes someone I work with." It's always easier to spot someone else's inner brat than your own. But take a moment now to reflect on yourself, and answer the following questions.* Do you frequently complain that something isn't fair?* Do you get angry at least once a day?* Do you hate at least one person at work?* Have you almost quit your job on the spot because you were upset?* Are you a spreader of gossip?* Do you frequently "forget" to do work or pass on messages that other people are waiting for?If you answered yes to any of these questions, you probably don't enjoy your job very much. And when you're in a negative mood, your inner brat brings you down even more. Research has shown that while some jobs are more stressful than others, dissatisfaction has more to do with your attitude than with the job itself. For example, consider two women, Abigail and Betty, who work as nurse's aides in a hospital. Abigail complains, "All I do is clean up other people's messes. Patients don't appreciate what I do for them. If I'm five minutes late or if I forget to wash out a bedpan, I get yelled at. When I first started here, they promised I'd get two breaks a day. Now I'm lucky if I even get one. I hate this job."Now here's how Betty sees her job: "I like to know that I can make the patients more comfortable. They don't always show appreciation, but I guess I wouldn't either if I was in as much pain as they are. Sometimes I get so busy that I forget things, and my supervisor gets mad. She's got the administration breathing down her neck and can't afford any patient complaints. There are days when I don't even get a break, but the time sure flies by on those days. Even though it's a hard job, I like helping people." The Key Is Changing PerspectiveYou can see from this example that your job is what you make it. It makes no difference whether you work inside or outside, at a desk or behind a counter, or whether you wear jeans or a suit to work. If you focus on the negative, you will never enjoy your job, no matter what you do or how much you get paid.Abigail in the above example has a strong inner brat. She complains and finds fault. She perceives herself as a victim. Not only will her inner brat make her irritable and hard to get along with, but it will deprive her of the opportunity to feel good about herself.Betty is more positive about her job, but at the same time she is also realistic. She's aware of the hard work and lack of appreciation. However, instead of dwelling on what's missing from her job, she focuses on why she chose to work there in the first place. She gets tired and stressed, but she also goes home with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. No one is cheerful 100 percent of the time. Still, people who don't let their inner brats make mountains out of molehills suffer less stress, are less angry, and are more optimistic about the future.There are many things you cannot control at work. For example, you have no control over your boss's moods. If your boss is in a bad mood, he or she might take it out on you. But you don't have to let your boss's inner brat push your buttons and unleash your own inner brat.Some aspects of your job may be monotonous or unpleasant. But even then, you can view them in a different way, for example, by setting up a challenge, such as racing the clock, or by doing things in a different order or with different tools. By doing so, you gain a sense of control over your work, thereby reducing both physical and mental stress."How can I possibly like my job when I work with impossible people!?"Who hasn't had to work with someone who was unpleasant, uncooperative, or a troublemaker? Such people not only bring their inner brats to work with them; they allow them to take over. It's even worse when the inner brat belongs to your boss.The main problem with other people's inner brats is that they trigger your own inner brat. Thus when Mary fails to relay an important phone message to you because she's angry at you, this gets your own inner brat screaming inside your head, "How dare she do that! She's not going to get away with this!" Then your inner brat spends precious time brooding or plotting revenge.Here are some things you can do when confronted with other people's inner brats.* Ask yourself who "owns" the problem. Did you do something wrong, or is the other person overreacting? If it's the latter, don't feel that you have to fix things. Just minimize your interactions with the person, and don't complain or gossip to someone else.* If your boss is overreacting, say something to acknowledge her feelings, such as, "I can see why you're upset." But don't try to explain or defend yourself at this point. Wait until your boss has calmed down.* When a coworker's uncooperativeness affects your ability to do your job, ask yourself if this is the first time. If so, offer to help him expedite his end of the job. If the person is habitually uncooperative, it's time to start documenting your efforts and later bring it to the attention of a superior if things don't improve. But do so in an objective way, documenting only facts, not your opinions or feelings.* Keep in mind that focusing on other people's bad moods, sarcastic comments, and uncooperative behavior will drain you of energy. Wouldn't you rather save your energy for something more productive or enjoyable?* Finally, remember that it's easier to spot an inner brat in someone else than in yourself. Are you sure it's the other guy's inner brat that's upsetting you... or is it your own?Copyright © 2004, 2006, Pauline Wallin, PhD. All rights reserved.About the Author:This article was written by Pauline Wallin, Ph.D., contributing author to "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Dr. Wallin is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and the author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-Defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004). Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information and to subscribe to her free monthly "Inner Brat Newsletter."Her article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." This powerful compilation book -- with John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and countless other experts -- contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to improve your life.
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